Mom feeding the geese

Mom feeding the geese
Originally uploaded by shawnkclaiborne.

So it’s 10:20pm and Marion is trying to wash out some of the dark color from her hair that she just added in a day or two ago.
I really like her with dark hair and I’m annoyed that she is already trying to make it lighter… anyway, she’s going to start cutting hair full time in 3 weeks, I’ve very happy that she finally went for it. She’s just flipping out and on top of my weird ass day I’m just ready to go to bed. I think I find sleep to be an outlet for stress, I can just go and fall asleep and it seems that things will be better when I wake up. I know that’s kind of childish but it seems to help me sometimes.

I was in Kroger’s today shopping and some sad soft rock song (something shitty) came on the radio and pushed me further into depression. There are just so many sad things going on in my life right now that I can’t do anything about, then there are other things I can do something about but it’s just figuring out how to fix the problems.

I’m really having a hard time with my mom’s issues lately. Having my brother tell me in tears that mom can’t even clean her own self up after using the bathroom really hit me hard. I’ve been really sad about that the last 2 weeks. It’s just sad that I can’t even take my mom to town now to do anything, what If she’ll have to use the bathroom before we get home? It makes me really angry that she is in this state she is in, I’m not angry at her or anything, it’s just the situation that makes me so upset. But I know there are lots of things in the life you can not change. I’m just really having a hard time dealing with this lately. I’m not trying to be selfish, but it’s hard to keep things going ok in my life when my mom is like that, and it’s just
making me unstable.

Anthony, a friend at mine at work lost his mom to Alzheimer’s 10 or 15 yrs ago. I talk to him sometimes, it’s nice to be able to talk to someone who understands, but I lost it at work the other day and it was very embarrassing. I don’t know that I need to do, but I need to figure something out and soon. I just can’t take it anymore..

Shawn